Silly Sex Laws


Silly Sex Laws
While we've been building our adult store's website, we've come
across some strange facts during our research and we'd like to
share these with the online community.

Some of the following are
really funny and most are definitely strange!
For example, did you know that in the state of Alabama, USA,
it's illegal to own a sex toy? So, if you are visiting Funtimz from
Alabama, don't be tempted to click onto the following link:
.funtimz.co.uk/products.

asp?categoryID=7
where you will find an exciting range of sex toys designed to
heighten your pleasure!
In fact, of all the US states and countries other than
Afghanistan, Alabama has some of the most bizarre
statutes.
For example, a section of the obscenity statute of
Alabama makes it unlawful to produce, distribute or
otherwise sell sexual devices that are marketed
primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs.
Alabama regards these products as obscene, and also
states that there is 'no fundamental right to purchase
a product to use in pursuit of having an orgasm.'
The punishment for this 'crime?'
You can be fined and even jailed, even though these
statutes go against the First, Fourth, Fifth, Ninth
and Fourteenth Amendments of the United States
Constitution.

Four Alabama women are currently
challenging this law.
Also in the States, if you are a man
living in
Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for you to fire
a gun when your female partner is having an orgasm!
And in Willowdale, Oregon, it's illegal for a husband
to curse during sex.
In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make
love while hunting or fishing on
your wedding day! But
if your bride is wearing one of our sexy basques,
.funtimz.

co.uk/productssubcategory.asp?categoryID=4&productrange=Basques

why would you want to go hunting or fishing anyway?
No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the
smell of garlic, onions or sardines on his breath in
Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, the
law rules that he must brush his teeth.

We even sell
toothbrushes at Funtimz!
.funtimz.co.uk/product.

asp?prodrowID=491&categoryID=11

And after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, a man isn't
allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while
lying in bed with you, or holding you in his arms. Not
a problem if you have our perfect date doll beer
holder!
.funtimz.co.

uk/product.asp?prodrowID=508&categoryID=7

Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual
activity between members of the opposite sex in the
front yard of a home after sundown - if they're nude.
(Apparently, if you wear socks or are gay you're safe
from the law!)
In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room
is required to have twin beds. And the beds must
always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple
rents a room for only one night.

And it's illegal to
make love on the floor between the beds!
Owners of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, are
required to provide each guest with a clean and
pressed nightshirt. No couple, even if they are
married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they
have sex unless they are wearing one of these clean,
white cotton nightshirts. But, if you're in for a
little law-breaking in Hastings, Nebraska, how about
wearing something much sexier than those dull
nightshirts? Check out our babydolls in the Funtimz
lingerie section
.

funtimz.co.uk/productssubcategory.asp?categoryID=4&productrange=Lingerie

An ordnance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans
couples from having sex while standing inside a
store's walk-in meat freezer! Why would anyone want to
make love in a freezer?
A state law in Illinois governs that all bachelors
should be called master, not mister, when addressed by
their female counterparts, whilst in Norfolk,
Virginia, a woman can't go out without wearing a
corset, a Funtimz corset, of course! (though we call
them basques)
.

funtimz.co.uk/productssubcategory.asp?categoryID=4&productrange=Basques.



In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from
wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the
curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should
not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American
male." (Shame on you, Merryville!). Still, there are
plenty of other sexy outfits you can legally wear in
Merryville such as our Funtimz nurse's uniforms which
is bound to send his temperature soaring!
.funtimz.

co.uk/product.asp?prodrowID=183&categoryID=6

And for anyone into dogging, it's quite safe to make
love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police
officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the
window.

Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is
taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn
three times and wait approximately two minutes before
getting out of his car to investigate! Phew, that was
a close shave!
In Helena, Montana, the law says that a woman can't
dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she's
wearing at least three
pounds, two ounces of
clothing,
whilst lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should
avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car.
If the horn accidentally sounds while they are
frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a
jail term. Ooops! You can always satisfy your lustful
urges with Funtimz Toys:
.funtimz.

co.uk/products.asp?categoryID=7
In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to
have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch
break
from work, as long as the car or van has drawn
curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.
Women aren't allowed to wear patent leather shoes in
Cleveland, Ohio - a man might see the reflection of
something 'he oughtn't!' Patent leather boots are okay
though, so even women from Cleveland, Ohio are safe
checking out our range of sexy footwear by cliking on
this link:
.

funtimz.co.uk/products.asp?categoryID=2
And, the Cleveland ordnance makes no mention of our
dirty old man's walking stick!
.

funtimz.co.uk/product.asp?prodrowID=1156&categoryID=11

No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an
ambulance within the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah.

If
caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual
misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the
local newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his
name revealed!
Still, she could pretend to be a nurse with one of our
fabulous nurse's outfits!
.funtimz.co.

uk/product.asp?prodrowID=662&categoryID=6

Nudity laws are also either stripped-down or grossly
over-dressed depending where you are in the world. Le
Cap d'Agde in France is an entirely clothing-optional
city (population 40,000), thousands of bare buns bake
on beaches in Europe, Australia, and Canada, and
naturist joggers publicly flap and jiggle in San
Francisco's annual Bay-To-Breakers footrace.
But more ominously, skin is a carnal crime
elsewhere.

It is a crime for college girls to be
'unveiled' in Algeria and Afghanistan and, in Iran,
women are atcually flogged by "morality patrols" if
their lovely hair slips wickedly out of their veils.
The freedoms women now take for granted in the UK,
still don't apply in many countries. Afghanistan is
not a pretty or permissive place. A woman recently had
her thumb chopped off simply for wearing nail polish,
and women can't walk on the street with men who aren't
relatives.

What's the fine? Nothing scanty - 100
public lashes if she's unmarried, a grisly rock-death
if she's someone's shamed spouse.
So why is sex and sexuality often so frowned upon,
not just in countries like Afghanistan, but in US
states like Alabama?
Usually, the answer lies in religion and the often
contradicatory messages sent out by religious leaders
without any philisophical basis or justification.
After all, if God made us as sexual beings, then sex
is surely part of that very creation approved by God.
Sex is natural.

Every human being is a
sexual being.
Numerous medical and sociological studies have shown
that sexual health and fulfillment has a major effect
on mental and emotional health and wellbeing.
Sexual repression, on the other hand, has a
detrimentral effect on mental and emotional wellbeing.
Many sex therapists advise both singles and couples
to make use of sex toys such as vibrators, anal
stimulators and dildos to enhance their partnerships
and sexual health, and enhance orgasm for both
parties.


As far as the fundamental right to purchase sex toys
in order to have an orgasm, why is it that in
Alabama, Viagra is legal and vibrators aren't? Some
believe that the difference is Viagra is for men, and
vibrators are generally aimed at women's pleasure, so
the Alabama law-makers are effectively saying that
women do not have the same fundamental right as men to
purchase anything for the purpose of achieving an
orgasm - a stance we and many others believe simply
cannot be justified in these more enlightened times.
What some of these laws (not the really silly ones)
also show is that our sexual freedom is never a given
- we have to support it, and to do that - we have to
support everyone's safe, sane and consensual freedoms.
Never take it for granted, and never forget that
someone else's delight is as important and valuable as
your own.
I'm a 52-yr-old lady living in South-west Scotland.


Along with my partner, Peter, I run two
businesses. One is Funtimz
(www.funtimz.co.

uk) which is an online adult shop selling
lingerie, clubwear, glamourwear, adult toys and costumes. The
other is The Peter Ingram Partnership
(www.thepeteringrampartnership.co.

uk) which is a business
consultancy offering diverse services to SMEs including graphic
design, business audits, corporate imaging, market research,
corporate hospitality, etc. We love the area we live in and
would like to add some "tourist" information and photographs in
later articles.

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